It's been a whopping week and a half since our ‘SURPRISE’ move. By surprise, I mean, one morning I woke up to the washing machine leaking all over the floor, the next thing I know, people are cutting massive holes from floor to ceiling on every level of our town home. While massively loud fans, installed to dry out the walls, prevented anything resembling sleep to even dream of happening. Making it impossible for us to continue living there. So, we packed up our little lives and moved into my mothers house temporarily.

Being relocated is no small feat, especially when you have a 4 month old baby. You'd think someone that barely weighs 20 pounds wouldn't have a lot of stuff, HA! Fortunately, it only took her a few days to adjust to her new surroundings. It doesn't hurt that my mom happens to live steps away from the beach, my absolute favorite place to be. However, there is something to say for sleeping in your own bed. I do miss wandering around my home, watering my plants, and simply knowing where everything is. 

This temporary move has been such a lesson in letting go and letting life take you where it may. We get so caught up in the day to day, that sometimes we forget that no matter how much planning we do, life, sometimes has other plans. Watching my daughter adjust to such a change in environment with barely a fuss, has been the most unexpected lesson. I have so much that I want to teach her about life, and the world around her, and here she is, teaching me. How can someone who has only been on this earth for four short months be so incredibly wise? It’s a humbling thought, to say the least. 

Establishing a steady routine for the little lady has been my mission for the past few months. I am pretty proud of our little routine. It’s made our new life with a baby much more manageable, and she seems to be happy and secure in the fact that she knows what’s coming next. After moving, I’ve had to readjust how I parent. I didn't realize how dependent I'd become on things like our rocking chair, her crib, her baby bath, etcetera. The first night we arrived here I wondered how on earth I was going to get her to fall asleep without all these things?! That said, I’m an avid baby wearer when it comes to leaving the house or attempting to get anything done around the house hands free. Our Sakurabloom ring sling is my ‘must have,’ baby item, I would never dream of living without it.  After a few nights, I was almost at my whits end, pacing the floor trying to get my little one to sleep. For some reason I didn’t think of wearing her in order to get her to fall asleep until day five of our move! Silly mommy. Almost as soon and I put her on, her eyes closed and she drifted off to sleep. I can’t believe I forgot how little a baby actually needs, boobs, a diaper, and a ring sling sure go along way. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Every time I look into her glorious face I'm reminded of the simple beauty that surrounds us. Gazing at her instantly un-complicates my over complicated life, she reminds me to breath, and to just...live. Live for the moments we have with one another, because each and every one of those moments are blessed. To love and be happy no matter where life takes you, or throws at you. To find comfort in those who surround you. To learn from those who you think could never teach you. 

 

Peace & Love,

Krystal

I write this with a sweet baby fast asleep on my chest, her milky sweetness fills the air and I am home, home in myself, home in my soul.

Time is slowly running away from me, moments filled with "the stuff we have to do." I turned twenty eight this past Wednesday. As I look back, on what seems to be my very short life, I smile, not thinking about the time I spent working, or fighting, or crying, or laughing, but I think of the people i've met, the love i've shared and the person I created. I rest my head back on my chair, as memories come seeping back into my mind, like water rising from the floor, warm and inviting, hopelessly getting lost in what was, and is my life.

Becoming a mother has been the most miraculous thing to have ever happened to me. To be born again in this little soul has changed what I viewed life to be. Everything is new, everything is different, I am changed down to the smallest cell, forever a mother. My mind, still young, is pulled in separate directions, torn with the content of what I've done, and the restlessness of what I have yet to accomplish. Moments passed that could have been filled with something more productive, moments I wouldn't change for the world. There was a time when 'time,' was endless, naps were longer, and spare time was taken for granted. I can't help but feeling somewhat melancholy, knowing that part of my life is forever gone. Moments spent dancing till the sun came up, sitting back and disappearing into a room as philosophical conversations of life and God naively fill the air.

Moving into a new space of life is strange, at times I feel as if I am one hundred years old. I know that's just my eager young heart desperatly reaching, yet not grasping what it really is to have been on this earth for one hundred years. Think of the memories made, the lives lived, the lives lost, the stories told, the scars, the vast expansion of thought.

I spent a cool evening with one of my best friends, slash soulmate, slash sister, slash twin yesterday. Warmed by a blanket and words shared outside on my patio. She has such a beautiful soul and mind, the depths of her unknown to even herself. We spoke of life, as we often do, I listened as the struggles she faces left her mouth. Though I couldn't help feeling pangs of joy, knowing that in her moments of struggle and searching, there lies a happiness ahead of her that is glowing with light.

The anticipation of what comes next is such a gift. To be able to look down at a product of the love I share with my husband, my best friend, my lover, my everything is gift enough this year. Everything else is surplus. This life, this time spent here has shaped who I am, I cannot wait to see who I will become over the next 28 years.

I am so blessed to have my life intertwined with such beautiful souls.

Peace & Love,

Krystal

I'm writing this with one hand because my other arm is filled with you. I know I should probably put you down for your nap, I usually do, but in this moment, I just can't bare to set you down. You sleep better in my arms, the warmth of your tiny body is so familiar to my own. I know these moments are fleeting, and you're only getting older, growing into the amazing women I know you will become. You're looking more and more like me everyday, you came out looking like a mini version of your Papa. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little excited to see glimpses of me in you.

I struggle to find the words to describe the love I have for you sweet girl, I'm afraid there are none. There is only this, this moment, where all you want is the steady beat of my heart, strength of my arms, and the warmth of my chest. It's no wonder, my body was your home, it was all you knew. Now an empty vessel, I long to be near you. My heart breaks and marvels simultaneously watching your fingers grow longer, your face older, your body longer. One day you won't fit in this space on my chest anymore, so I'll remember this moment, etch it into the pages of my memory, remembering the time where the lines between you and I were blurred.

Love your Mama

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One of my Aunts had a pool installed in her backyard this summer. I bought the cutest little bathing suit for the babe, of course she never got in the pool, she was to busy napping. We had fun though! It was so nice just to have a few hours of fun a with the family, and not just be a pregnant bump on a log.

Peace & Love Krystal

Dear, Elly

I know every parent says this, but where has the time gone? It seems like yesterday I was patiently/psssh not patiently,(SEE HERE) waiting your arrival. And now here you are! All twelve pound two ounces of you, all dimples on the knees you, all double chined you, all two amazing months you. You are a glorious child, a blessing to your dad and I. You amaze me everyday with each new milestones you achieve.

You started holding your head up a few weeks ago, you've gotten quite good at it now. One of your favorite things to do is smile and laugh at yourself in the mirror in the morning. You've perfected babbling, you started doing so at two weeks... TWO WEEKS! You smart cookie you. You also said mama at seven weeks old.

Ok so it was more like, "GaaaMaaaaaahhMaaaaaaah." But I'd like to think you said Mama all the same.

You're still not sleeping through the night, but that's ok. I've grown quiet fond of our quiet late night nursing sessions, they are ever so precious to me. I'm not quite ready to let them go, even though a few extra hours of uninterrupted sleep would be nice. You fall asleep in my arms most nights, you're such the cuddle bug. You're actually sitting in my lap as I type this, I've tried to put you down, but you're not having it. If in my arms is where you want to be, then in my arms is where you will stay sweet love. I know there will come a day when you no longer need the safety of my arms. So I will cherish these cuddles, the smell of your neck, your soft hair against my cheek, and your tiny hands grasping my shoulder. Or how you find the perfect spot in the curve of my neck, while resting your head on my shoulder.

Oh Man! Do you love your Daddy, I mean LOVE. As soon as he walks in the room your face lights up. You talk (babble) to him the most. He asks how's your day, and you go on and on, as I watch as he listens to you patiently. All the while kissing your face ever so softly. Watching you with him just about melts my heart. I never knew I could love your Daddy anymore than I already did, until I saw how much he loves you.

Every day is a gift to be your mama. No matter how little sleep I've had, seeing your smiling face as soon as I wake, makes my world perfect. Everything has been made new. From the clouds in the sky, to the birds in the air, they're knew because I know get to watch you discover them for the first time. It's such a magical sight.

For ten months I carried you, and for two months I've nursed you. So for now, you are your Mamas girl. I'll forever remember you this way, no matter how big you get, no matter how may years pass.

I love you with a love so fierce, my baby.

Love Always & Forever,

Mama

I still can't believe it's almost been six weeks since our little lady came into this world.

We are finally getting out of the house over here. HOORAY!!! Because Mama was going a little stir crazy. Six weeks is a long time to basically do nothing but perpetually feed a tiny human. That’s why I only lasted 5, besides the occasional trip to Trader Joes. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love our feedings, looking down at her sweet face, little curled toes, and that milk drunk face at the end, priceless. But we needed sunshine, so off to the farmers market we went.

It’s one of my most favorite things to do during summer. Going there hungry is key, all the delectable free tastes are the best! And you always come home with the most fabulous treats to enjoy later.

The little lady enjoyed the market from the security of her Sakura Bloom Sling. If you don’t have one ladies, pick one up, they are amazing! This being our first child, I’m not quite sure how it feels to lug around a car seat everywhere you go. But having your baby in a sling and being able to be hands free is awesome. She’s can take naps, and even nurse without all the fuss, this makes for one happy mama.

After some much needed sunshine and food we headed over to my mothers house to take in the ocean view. And of course some lovely G-Ma kisses.

Peace & Love, Krystal

Being pregnant with you was the most amazing journey I’ve ever been on. From the beginning I loved you, knowing that you were there, just beneath my skin, forever mine. But it wasn't until you were here that I knew the true meaning of love.

Labor. It was long. I started having prodromal labor with you at 35 weeks, kinda scary to say the least. It sent your Daddy, Grandmama and I to Labor and delivery, on more than one occasion. Only to be sent home reeling in pain with contraction after contraction and no baby. . It's basically your body trying to kill prepare your uterus for "the real thing." I had contractions that would last anywhere from 30 seconds to two minutes, all day everyday, sometimes one per hour, and on those lucky days, ten per hour. The doctor promised me that you would be here in two weeks max, which gave me some sort of relief to know that this horrible pain wouldn't last to long and you would be here soon.

After two weeks, with contractions gradually getting stronger and stronger, I wanted to kill the doctor for ever telling me you would be here in two weeks. I began to joke with everyone that I would have the buffest uterus ever by the time my body was ready to kick into "real" labor. After three weeks I was just mad, mad my body seemed to be failing me, mad that these seemingly endless contractions would never stop, EVER.

Night after night I would stand by our bed, crying, praying for a break so I could just sleep, hanging onto your dad at times begging him to make it stop. Asking God why He allowed this to go on for so long. But you just weren't ready, little did I know this would be the biggest lesson in patience I would ever have.

By 39 weeks I was a woman on a mission! After countless people advised me to start doing some serious walking, eat spicy food, do lunges, basically anything to get this labor into full gear, i did. Your Dad and I hiked, well I waddled up and down the hiking trails down the street from our house. Lo and behold my contractions started picking up, I could have kissed the dirt I was walking on at that point. Sadly, all it did was throw my body into even more painful contractions, spread to far apart to change my cervix. This is the point where I began to be outside myself. I was a grumpy crying mess, and so over being pregnant, I wanted you here NOW, better yet yesterday, knowing you were full term and healthy, I just couldn't understand why oh why you weren't here in my arms yet.

The evening of June 6th my contractions picked up to the point where I couldn't walk or talk through them. I got pretty excited because I knew I had to be making some progress, finally! However, after so many false alarms I continued to ignore them, and sent your Dad off to work, reassuring him that this was not labor. He called when he was about half way there and I picked up the phone crying, he immediately turned around and came home so we could go to the hospital once again, thinking this was finally it. I was having contractions every two minutes, and as soon as our 40 min drive to the hospital was over they stopped dead in their tracks. Thankfully, my doctor was working that night, she checked me and I was 1cm and 80% effaced. She said she could feel your head, how cool. She felt incredibly bad for me and offered to stir things up. I consented, anything to get you out. Holy Moly BATMAN that phrase will never sit the same with me again! She manually stretched, wiggled, and jiggled my cervix to 2cm, ouch is a understatement! She told me to walk the halls, so we did, The contractions picked back up with a vengeance. But after two hours and one more check later I was only at a 3cm. So she sent me home to labor since she knew I wanted a natural birth and staying at the hospital at this point would mean Interventions would be inevitable. So off we went...back home, to continue laboring.

By the next morning my contractions slowed to every 20 minutes, I cried to my mom asking when she thought you would come. I had pretty much convinced myself that I would be pregnant forever. She reassured me that you would come when you were ready. Worst phrase ever! Because I was ready, I had been ready. By that evening my contractions were completely gone for the first time in almost five weeks, it felt strange not being in pain.

When evening time rolled around I once again reassured your Dad that he could go to work, I just wanted to be alone. I went upstairs and prayed,I gave thanks for my life, for being able to bear life, and for everything as a whole. I decided I was ok with whatever happened, I was done walking, done eating spicy food, I just wanted to enjoy these last few days or maybe weeks of being pregnant with you. Then I did some yoga, meditated, then went to sleep, I don't even remember your Dad coming home from work at 3am. I slept, for the first time in weeks, I slept.

At 6:30am on June 8th, the day before your due date, I woke to text messages from family asking if you were here yet. I wanted to throw the phone out the window. Instead, I wrote to everyone that no, I was still pregnant and probably would be pregnant forever. As I pressed send I heard a faint POP! No way, I thought to myself, no way my water just broke. I got up and went to the bathroom, there was no denying it, my water had broken, I was in shock! I shouted for your Dad, exclaiming that my water had broken. He wobbled over sleepy eyed from a hard nights work, excited and confused. Could this really be it?! I asked him calmly to please call my mom. I put on my sacrum meditation music and sat on the floor in your room, the contractions were so much stronger than anything I felt before. I concentrated on calming myself while welcoming each wave. After about thirty minutes they were coming hard and fast, about three minutes apart. I had no choice but to concentrate on them. By the time my mom got here at around 8, they were coming every two minutes and thirty seconds on the dot, and were lasting for over a minute. I still insisted on taking a shower, and re-packing my hospital bag for the umpteenth time. I think a part of me was still in denial, after weeks of labor I couldn't believe I was finally going to get to meet you. At one point, I remember saying it was time to go, as in, RIGHT NOW! So we got in the car for our 40 minute drive, my mom following close behind. The contractions were not letting up, and the only way I could stay on top of them was to listen to music and sing. Every time your Dad would ask how I was doing, it would break my concentration and the contractions would become almost unbearable. This was the worst drive of my life. I was in and out of myself, excited, ready, happy, and nervous at the unknown.

I know your Dad wheeled me in to L&D, though I don't quite remember the journey. Time became irrelevant, it only consisted of wave after wave. Upon arrival they immediately checked me in after being monitored briefly. It was clear I was finally in active labor. As I walked to our labor room, which was about 15 ft away, I had three contractions and the nurse commented on how fast my contractions were coming (NO KIDDING). All I remember is leaning my forehead into the hallway walls, moaning through contractions. At 1:30 the doctor came in to check me and I was a loose 3cm, and 90% effaced, I was a little disappointed, but not surprised. The contractions were now lasting two minutes and thirty seconds with only a minute break in between, and they were literally reading off the chart. The nurses and doctors kept commenting on how I was just banging out these contractions. I wasn't even aware that my favorite nurse (from all my false alarms at L&D) was taking care of me. My world was the music coming through my headphones, I felt as if I was standing on a cliff and with every contraction the wind would almost blow me over the edge. It was a pain like no other, all consuming, nothing else existed, I couldn't even tell you who was in the room.

After about an hour I started vomiting with every contraction, I remember telling my mom that I can do one or the other not both. It was then, that I was on the brink of panicking, I just couldn't get on top of the contractions anymore. Then they started coupling and I lost it, I begged my mother to please help me.

I wasn't getting any breaks, I was contracting like I was in Transition but wasn't, I was angry at the pain, angry that my labor wasn't gradually getting stronger like the norm. I begged for relief around 3:30, something to just help me get my head on straight. I was determined to go all naturally but my mind could not get a handle on the pain. I asked the doctor to give me the lowest dose possible of the epidural. I was obsessed with not tearing, and I wanted to be able to feel you coming out so I could push like I needed to. It wasn't the sweet relief like most women have, but it was enough for me to handle. I was able to calm myself and breath. I wanted to take a nap but I began to get the shakes.

By 6 pm I was 8cm and going through transition, my uterus must have lost its mind because the contractions lasted well over 3 minutes, at some points, doubling on top of each other! By seven I was complete, the doctor started explaining that I could push whenever I was ready, and suggested that I labor down as long as I could, since first time moms can take up to 4 hours pushing. I labored down for what I thought was an hour, though my mom said it was only twenty minutes until I said that I need to push. My sweet doctor said ok, in a calm voice, thinking that she had ample time before the babies arrival. She had me push, her eyes got wide and she immediately changed into “splash proof” gear.

This was it! By this time the meds had worn off completely on my left sid it and was almost gone on my right as well. Your dad put ice packs and sock balls behind my back giving me counter pressure. For me, pushing was the easiest part. I was finally present and active in my own labor and pushing gave me a goal. I pushed for an hour taking breaks when told to allow the tissue to stretch. Your dad was holding one leg while my mom held the other. The not pushing part, when all you need and want to do is push, stinks, let me tell ya. Everyone was praising me on how controlled I was and how much progress I was making. I kept wondering if they were lying, because every time your head would come out a little, as soon as I stopped pushing it would slip back in a little. But everyone kept assuring me that that's the best way not to tear, so I continued to push slowly.

After a little less than an hour of pushing your head was out. The cord was wrapped around your neck twice, they unwrapped the cord and I pushed the rest of you out in one big push. You were placed immediately on my chest, I cried, you were here... you were perfect!

But something was wrong, you were silent and very purple, your mouth was wide open as you tried to cry and take your first breath, but you couldn't. I rubbed you and rubbed you, telling you that it was ok, and to breath baby breath, you wouldn't. Your Dad cut the cord and they took you over to the warmer. The doctor immediately called pediatrics, and they were here in minutes. My mom, your Dad and the team surrounded you, I kept asking if you was ok, and why weren't you crying!? My mother assured me that everything would be alright.

My world was crashing down around me, and after what seemed like 15 minutes, when in actuality, it was more like two, there it was a sweet gurgaly cry, and relief. I was bleeding more than they wanted, but I could care less. You were ok, and that's all that mattered.

Before I knew it you were back on my chest, looking up at your Dad and I, and you were smiling. You were ok, you was here, and you were mine. I was complete. It was the sweetest thing, the deepest love, I never knew whatI was lacking until that moment. I cried and stared at this little being I had just brought into the world. Staring and this little person that is you who lived inside me for the last 39 weeks plus six days. I knew you and you knew me, my life was complete, I was on this incredible high, I could do anything after that, anything.

Our family came in to meet you after they got the bleeding under control and you were alright. Everyone was in love. The doctors and nurses confessed that your birth touched them. Two of them had to leave the room because they were in tears.

When your Dad and my mom walked the family out, one of the nurses said that the love she witnessed between us during your birth, was unbelievable. She delivers babies everyday and this one, your birth, my precious Eleanor touched her. I cried, then hugged and thanked her for bearing witness and helping me through the hardest thing I've ever done.

Then it was just us three, we stared at you, kissed you, and marveled in all that is you. After your Dad fell asleep, it was just you and I, like it had been for ten months, I was in awe of what just took place. I would do it all again, I would take every pain just to have that moment.

Eleanor Marie Festerly graced us with her presence June 8th at 9:36pm weighing seven pounds and seven glorious ounces.

Love Always, Mama Bear

Or a serious case of OCD.. hmm.

All I know is that I just had to go to TJ Max and pick up a gadrillion containers for our cabinets and organize, and by organize I mean, lift and clean shelves, and dump everything out of their old containers into their new chic home. I admit, I walk by my cabniets now, open them, and stare. No one ever told me that nesting is some serious business! 

Why hello! Long time no see...well that's my fault. Marriage, moving, babies, hospitals, life gets in the way sometimes doesn't it? I don't know how you Mama's do it. With that said, I made a little vow to myself, blog... BLOG! Because with the pace of this new life I'm bound to forget these precious little details.

Excuse our mid blink faces !

Anywhooo, We had the baby shower! It was absolutely amazing, it was a gathering of love and a great party to boot. My twin (aka bestfriend) and mother put together the most wonderful day a girl could ask for.

xx

1. Grey Jumper 2. Heart Onesie 3. Moccasins 4. Cream Onesie 5. Cream Cardigan 6. Printed Dress 7. Hand Made Moccasins 8. Star Dress 9. Animal Leggings

This little baby bear has had the hiccups a few times a day for the past few days. For those of you mom's out there you know the feeling, like someones tapping you on the shoulder from the inside. But somehow they are the best taps in the world. The more movement I feel everyday the more excited I get to meet this little amazing creature inside of me. 

You know what's great about being married? Not having to sleep alone, it's one of my favorite parts. Because as I've learned in this short time of marriage, living with a boy can be...well... interesting. Don't get me wrong it's amazing! But men are gross.  But at the end of the day, when the whole house is quite, and I get to crawl into bed next to this hansome man, it's then when we read to each other, talk for hours, make out like teenagers for hours (yes we still make out) then fall asleep to the sound of his breath. Let me adjust that last statment, I fall asleep to the sound of his breath and not thirty minutes later the dogs snoring and he's snoring so mama has to get up and turn the fan on to muffle the sound. Never the less, I wouldn't trade it for the world.

We are (ok ok I am), in baby girl heaven! Or maybe I'm doing some early nesting, who knows. But I can not stop planning this nursery, and the more I look, the giddier I become.  After seeing these lovely spaces who wouldn't !? Even the hubby is over the moon for this little ladies room, though I'm pretty sure he's more excited about the dirt bike riding lessons he has pretty much booked for her (men).

See more of these lovely nurseries Here & Here

Mama's gone baby girl crazy! But honestly, how AMAZING is that vintage crib and bedding, I about fell over when I saw it.  1. 'Life is made of little moments.' I must write this somewhere in the nursery. 2. Joyfolie Sabre Boots 3. Nituna Coat Pattern 4. I'll be sewing this soon 5. Shirley Bridal Knit 6. Crib Bedding 7. Native Leggings 8. Great Idea for a print 9. Balance Toy 10. Native Boots

GIRL <3 !! 

Did everyone have a wonderful Christmas this year? We certainly did

Merry Christmas and the warmest Holiday wishes to you all!

Why HELLO THERE! It's been about one hundred years since I've blogged, in fact! This is a whole new blog all together. I figured this new life deserved a super fresh start.  For those of you who are new to this space, or have no idea what I'm talking about or who I am.My name is Krystal Marie Donovan-Festerly I'm a full time dreamer & photographer , tea obsessed, adrenaline chasing, mountain climbing, jewelry fiend, living and laughing in San Diego. Creating familiar world’s that are not quite photographs and not quite paintings. Constantly communicating the language of stillness.

... you see this year my life completely changed. For starters I married my best friend! It was the most amazing day of my life, I love that man. And just to add a little icing on the cake, we're expecting a baby bear in June. Talk about a life changer, I'm going to be a mama bear. 

We have no idea what we are doing and that's just the fun of it! Isnt that what life is all about anyways? Doing the best we can with the life that we have been given? I'd like to think so anyways.

We're starting this little life together and it's pretty amazing if I do say so myself.